Remember the list?

1. NOT LETTING THINGS GET TO ME! Not letting things from my past stop me
2. Continuing build my relationship with God, praying, giving myself up and trusting in Him.
3. Becoming more healthy all around
4. NOT LETTING THINGS GET TO ME!!! dealing with things more positively and not giving in to things of depression.
5. Not only giving my self to God but giving myself to friends
6. Taking better care of myself PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, AND FINANCIALLY
7. Finding ways to dig within to find myself and express myself, not being shy
8. Get back to leaning and playing guitar again! (If only I had confidence)
9. If finances allow me: I want to race more this year! Racing will always be in my blood. Hopefully God will allow me to continue and pursue it!
10. Hopefully becoming a good poker player, I think that I have become somewhat good but I would like to play and learn more so I can be competitive.

WOW this seemed to be like a total waste of time. All 10 things have failed. But oh well life sucks anyway and there isn't much you can do about it. Maybe we are all pre-destined into whatever happens to us and for me that includes failure no matter how hard you try. But on a brighter note I should be getting a cool eyebrow piercing soon!

The Most Depressing Night of My Life!!!

Greetings to my peeps out there.  ok before i go on ranting I should apologize for the music not working anymore. When I have time to fix it I will. And secondly WHY DOESNT ANYONE FREAKIN COMMENT ANYMORE DAMNIT!

Ok anyway. I guess last night wasnt really the most depressing ever but it ranks up there i guess. Kinda sad that I let sports get me so depressed eh? Well anyway my boys from Gonzaga and Duke both choked lastnight and got eliminated from the tournament. The duke game was on early so i was still working so i was going back in forth to watching the huge plasma TV in the Jaguar showroom to working on sold cars. THe game was close thruout trading the lead many times and when i get home Duke was up by 5 or 6 with less than 10 min remaining.  SO i was thinking they had a great shot of winning. BUT what I didint realize that LSU had a killer defence and treated JJ Reddick the star player like crap and giving him a hard time. The defense wore duke out and in the end Duke went lazy and let the game go. Im probably one of the few Duke fans out there to say we flat out got beat up in that game even tho it was close. Sad to hear my fellow duke fans say the refs screwed them. Whats even more sad that JJ and Sheldon had to go out like that. Especially JJ whos one of the greatest ballers out there. Hopefully both of them will do good in the NBA when they get drafted.

My mood was down but Gonzaga was next to play and i was scared going in thnkin they might get shut down by UCLA. but Adam Morrison and JP Batista and the gang totally killed UCLA in the first half 42-29 and i was thinkin, the  experts really look smart now after giving my boys no chance! At the start of the second half they played good as well! THen with less than 10 min left it almost seemd like they stopped playing!  Its almost like the coach told them to be like OK just pass the ball arround and let the time run out. UCLA started to play their killer defence and came back to win shutting down gonzaga 11-0 in the last minute. A sad way for Adam Morrison another great baller to go out. He gave his heart and everything he had out there and all he could do was cry. Damn i even wanted to cry too! The whole thing was horrible! Its so depressing! I'll be scared for life because of it!!! OK not really but it was pretty tough to take.

Hello to all my peeps out there, or lack of... Anyway not much is going on here so I haven't had much to say. Duke and Gonzaga are still in the tournament which is awesome but theres still a long ways to go in that. One of the reasons that I wanted to grow out my hair is because Gonzaga player Adam Morrison was. He wanted to do it in sort of a rebellion type thing, which is sort of why I wanted to which is awesome! As more and more stories have been written about him and the more open he has become to the media I've found we have some similarities on how we think.  Anyway the dude rocks and I freakin want his hair!

I wanted to add especially for the local peeps to please pray for Boise State Basketball player Coby Karl. He had to undergo thyroid cancer surgery yesterday and will now have to undergo 6 weeks of radiation therapy. He was diagnosed during the season but he didn't tell his teammates or anyone because he didn't want to distract the team or cause any un needed publicity. The main thing is that they most likely caught the cancer at a good enough time that it wont come back, and hopefully he will be able to play basketball next season...

Currently Watching Kittie - Spit in Your Eye By Kittie, Morgan Lander see related

I dont know...

I hope everyone is doing good out there and alot better than i am...

I'll admit i have been feeling lost and struggling. And I know why. I dont need the preaching about that because I know where Im lost at...  I mean right now I should be extremly happy. Im getting a new phone, I get to go to the car show for free anytime i want to this weekend, i get free court side tickets to a basketball game, I finally got the Kittie DVD in the mail, and Im going to see Kittie in concert next month... yet all i am right now is dead, empty and exausted. I'm so worn out and annoyed at work. I had to lie to get monday off from work just so i can get some rest... I mean working 6 days a week really sucks and I used to be able to hang and do it but in the last 4 months everyone depends on me to do everything. Making things worse for the past 3 months ive been waiting to move into detailing. The position has been open for 3 months and you would think that if they really wanted to help me get in that position they would have made a better attempt to find someone to replace me so i can move on. I should probably quit but at the same time im trying to be loyal not complain, continue to work hard and be patient and pray about it... well obviously that aproach isnt working. But hey they dont care and nobody else cares and right now I'm questioning if even God cares. I might as well say screw it all!

Until The End" -- KiTTiE

Wings spread, poised
Faintly convulsing the sky
How will I know?
Bask now in this graying
Light
Search for that word
Something likened goodbye
How will I know
That they will cry?

[chorus]
We were blessed
(in this lifetime)
Laid to rest
(all we live for)
We were blessed

Voices ring on
Autumn is always at hand
Angel corpses
Hollow and stolen so fast
I heard your voice
And it spoke softly to me
We have this time
And then we're free

Take me under
Take me under

Currently Listening Spit By Kittie Brackish see related

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!!

Pretty much ive been sick for the past few days so hopefully my peeps out there will pray for me to get better. I hope you all are doing well. Anyway not much really to say so yeah... OH I FORGOT... KITTIE ROCKS!!! You can call them gothic whores all you want but they can kick your ass!!! GOT IT?!?! Cant wait to see them April 13th